I had heard a few Citizen Cope songs before reviewing this album, but I certainly wasn’t prepared for what awaited me. This is definitely a step away from my normal musical tastes, but unfortunately it seems I have taken a step in the wrong direction. When it comes to uninspired and poorly performed music, I think Mr. Cope might take the cake; he sounds like he simply doesn’t care about how he sounds, which is the beginning to a disastrous attempt at an album.
Before you send me hate-mail about that last paragraph, let me explain myself a little bit here. I stand by those last claims 100%, and I think if you were to really go back and listen to this album again, you’d definitely hear what I am saying. Seriously, go listen to it again with what I’ve said in mind and you’ll hear it. “But wait!” you say, “This was his first album! Everyone improves with later albums!” Yes, it is his first album. And quite frankly, you’re right that nearly everyone improves with their next few albums; that is just the simple fact of being an artist. But after hearing what Mr. Cope brought to the table for his first album, I am amazed that he got signed in the first place.
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| Yeah, you heard me. Listening to this album is like getting your wisdom teeth pulled. |
Let me put it simply and frankly for those of you who don’t feel like reading further: this album SUCKS. I’ve listened to my fair share of music over the years, and I cannot say that I’ve ever heard an artist that cares less about how he sounds than this guy. No, that’s not to say that he is trying to be independent and all that crap by not listening to critics and just making his music the way he wants. What I am saying is that he doesn’t care enough to put the effort in to make himself sound anywhere close to reasonably decent, and then somehow goes above and beyond the call to make all of his songs sound the same and simultaneously terrible as well.
For those of you still with me, I am going to spend the rest of this review trying to find something I actually like about this album.
I guess I’ll start off with the production, where I’ll have to begrudgingly say that it’s reasonably good. I listened to this album on Grooveshark and from there it sounded decent. However, how hard is it to EQ four different sounds? I would say even the most beginning studio amateurs could properly make this music sound good since there is so little going on with regards to instrumentation. It makes me wonder, with all of the “don’t-give-a-crap” mindset going on here, how much of the sound is just advanced MIDI work anyways. My next complaint is that every song is as dull and simple as a cheese sandwich. Now, let me clarify: simplicity can be and is a good thing in the right situations. There are plenty of examples where simplicity can make the other parts of the song sound great due to the contrast that occurs. But there is no contrast when every single freaking song is boringly simple. It just makes everything sound boring. But I guess I should give credit to Mr. Cope for somehow managing to make every song sound boring because quite frankly, I’ve never heard it done before.
Along those lines, I have one red-flag, enormous, offensively blatant problem with this album as a whole. And I guarantee that many people will agree with me here. The problem is this:
Every. Song. Sounds. The. EXACT. Same.
I kid you not—every song is so ridiculously formulaic that I actually have trouble determining one from the other. I don’t mean that in the sense that I don’t know where one ends and the other begins. I mean that if you were to ask me which song was which on this album, I could probably listen to this album ten times and still not be able to tell you. I can actually break it down for you right here and now. This is how every damn song in this album works:
2. Listen as Mr. Cope hesitatingly comes in with his half-attempt at singing by crooning in the same tone for the entire song.
3. At same time as Mr. Cope, also bring in drums with this pattern: kick, hi-hat, snare, hi-hat. Repeat pattern for entire song. (Note: for added variety, try including drums right away at the beginning; they’ll never see it coming!)
4. Include bass simply so that there is some sort of actual music going on.
5. Make a guitar play weird stuff behind everything else; don’t worry, it won’t be important anyways.
6. At chorus, be sure to maybe include some extra synth behind everything. After all, we need some way to define this part from the rest of it, I guess.
7. Repeat Steps 2-6. You now have a 14 track album!
…Did he even try?
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| "I wonder what it's like.... to make good music...." He'll never know. |
Next we have the lyrics, probably the next most blatant assault against music. Here’s the thing: if you’re going to talk about heavy issues, like in the song “Salvation”, or about politics, like in the song “Contact”, then you better have more than just one or two verses written that just get repeated because you stopped trying and decided that repeating the same crap over again to make the song longer was better than actually writing something worth substance. I feel as though he tried to be deep here in his lyrics, but instead of coming out and reaching my soul they just sort of ooze out with his voice, creating a sticky residue that I’d rather wallow through with a mop than with my soul. And then there are the songs that just don’t seem to mean anything, such as the song “Let The Drummer Kick”. Seriously, what is even trying to be said there? I looked through the lyrics to that song and never found a point to them, which is almost worse than the others that repeat themselves over and over. If you’re going to write a song, have it mean something, for crying out loud!
I just don’t understand what happened with this album. I would say that it got forced out too fast, but since it was his first work that isn’t an option. I would say that it’s just a different kind of music, but even I know that there are other artists who are far superior in the same genre. It all comes down to the fact that it sounds like Mr. Cope simply does not care how terrible he sounds. I have never heard any other artist be so sloppy in vocal delivery or be so uncreative in melodic synthesis. This album was painful to get through, honestly speaking, and I can’t really say that I enjoyed it in any way. I’d almost rather go smack my head with a brick than listen to this again, because at least the sound of my cracking skull would have more sonic value than the entirety of this album. Citizen Cope's self-titled album barely scrapes by with a:
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| 1 out of 7. I'm being generous, Mr. Cope. |
